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Obama Killed Twinkies!

The poor vulture capitalist private equity companies which owned Hostess, and the incompetent management which bankrupted the company TWICE were taken advantage of by the ‘union thugs’ making the products. Being forced to pay pensions to retired workers, give sick days, vacation time, medical benefits, pay time and a half for over 40 hours’ work per week, and pay the employer’s share of Social Security and Medicare taxes for the greedy union workers caused the poor billionaire owners to not be able to bleed enough money out of the company to slake their thirst for riches, so they threw in the towel. Twinkies are gone forever. As past union actions were primarily responsible for most of the benefits described above, in addition to the current Hostess union’s pay agreement, obviously unions are to blame.

As any good right wing, Republican, patriotic American knows, a true ‘free market’ would have allowed Hostess to rule the bread and snack cake world. 12 and 13 year olds working 12 hours per day seven days per week, with no overtime pay or benefits would have allowed Twinkies to live forever. And obviously, as a good Republican, YOU would never take paid vacation, health care benefits, overtime pay, sick days, or retirement benefits from your employer, as that would be anti-free-market. Be like those ‘union thugs’? Never! The feds can keep their Social Security and Medicare benefits as well, accepting them would be giving in to SOCIALISM!

A quick look at the history of Hostess / Wonder / Twinkies reveals that these companies were bought, sold, and merged many times in their histories. In reality, the Hostess, Wonder, and other name brands may be some of the most valuable assets the bankrupted company has. Another company will buy the rights and start making the products again. The 18,000 jobs are not ‘lost’, Americans will not stop eating bread and snacks. Other companies will hire more people to make products to replace whatever Hostess was making, possibly with some of the same employees, and probably in some of the same buildings, as they will be sold, too. A Wonder bread bakery closed in my city about 25 years ago. The world did not end. We did not starve. Calm down.

-Zane Zodrow

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